Set Free From Sexual Sins
by ST
Since coming back to School 1, I have been able to find victory over masturbation. It has been 4 months, the longest stretch that I have overcome. Praise God for it is Him who has given me the grace and strength to overcome.
I have also found victory in my battle with pornography. Though I have not kept track of exactly how long but I believe it has been about a year. I find that I have more control over my thought life and able to take captive of every impure thought more quickly. There have been times where I was very tempted but thank God for the extra strength to say NO. Though the battle is not yet over I know that there has been a change in my heart towards the sin, and that soon, by God’s grace I will be able to proclaim that I am completely set free!
Few years ago, when God revealed to me about my molestation incidents and also convicted me of my sexual sins, I wept, repented and asked God for forgiveness. I asked Him to help me in my battle as I knew it was not going to be an easy one. And it wasn’t. Like I shared before, there were seasons of victories and defeats. There were times I felt so hopeless that I gave in more and more to the sexual sin since there already felt there was no way out. I felt so disgusted yet so drawn to the sin. It was my false refuge, a place of release and comfort. In my desperation, I cried out to the Lord for help.
Over the years the Lord gave me 2 verses, Romans 8:28 – “And we know that all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose.” The other is Genesis 50:20 – “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”
The Lord planted a seed in my heart that what I had gone through and was still going through, He would be able to turn it for good and for His glory. But I certainly couldn’t see how he was going to use my circumstances or me in any way since I’m not even set free!
I believe that the ministry I received in Elijah House is a crucial part of the journey and process that God is taking me through to receive healing, restoration and transformation in my life. It really is God’s divine appointment and time. This is the reason why I shared that EH has been an answer to my prayer many years ago and that God has been faithful in seeing me through from start to end.
I just feel such a sense of joy and excitement of what is ahead. I was there when Ps Danny Guglielmucci spoke in the church recently. Many would have heard about his son, Mike confessing his deception and lie about his battle with cancer about a year ago. The truth was he was addicted to pornography since he was 11. When I first heard the news, my heart was for the body of Christ that would be affected. But I could also relate to Mike. His illness may not have been a physical one, but related to his inner condition.
I resounded with Ps Danny as he shared about his vision to see the body of Christ that is “broken but open”. I know there are so many others in the church whom are trapped in satan’s web of lies and deceit that long to be set free.
It is EH’s culture of openness and transparency that has given me and others the courage to also be open, honest and transparent. So if at any time you feel that my testimony would encourage others in their journeys, you have my permission to share everything that I have shared with all of you.
I just want to encourage all of you and EH facilitators that your commitment towards what God is doing through EH is producing much good fruit for the Kingdom.
During my ministry time one of the facilitators said something to the effect that the pieces of the puzzle are coming together. About a year ago, that was exactly what I felt the Lord saying to me and I know this because I had journal it down. Not just in the area of sexual sin, but in many core areas of my life, I see a lot of things coming together and making sense. Journaling has been a very important part of this process as I tend to forget things. As I read back my journal since a year ago, I can really see God working in my life. I feel so precious to Him that He would speak to me and reveal His heart to me. God is so so good and He has a redemption plan for all through the cross.
All glory and praise belongs to God for all He has done and is continuing to do!